I am excited to introduce you to one of my closest friends, Carmen Boso. I’ve known Carmen for several years; however, it wasn’t until a little over a year ago that our friendship began to soar. Since that time we have shared copious amounts of coffee, tears and countless prayers. Below, Carmen is going to share with you her journey through not one, but two near death pregnancy experiences and the victory God gave her and her family as they clung to Him.
This past weekend, my daughter had her first dance recital. With great anticipation, her little ballet group was the first number. This was a faith-based ballet company therefore, most of the music was Christian music. Her ballet song started out with the lyrics “You knit me together in my mother’s womb…” When Nina was on stage, that was the first and only time that my 21 month old sat still. As my husband and I wrestled an antsy toddler and watched our glowing preschooler dance, I was overwhelmed at how close I came to missing it all.
In the summer of 2010, I was pregnant with our first born. We got pregnant our first month of trying and I had had a great pregnancy. I went for my glucose test to find out that I was in the beginning stages of preeclampsia. Due to the severity increasing, I was induced at 37 weeks. Delivery went fine (As fine as LABOR can be…) and quickly after delivery, I began to hemorrhage. It happened very quickly as the doctor attempted to manually retrieve my retained placenta, the bleeding got worse. At the point in which I was taken to surgery, my blood pressure was 40/20 and I was in and out of consciousness. I was diagnosed with a rare condition called “Placenta Accreta”. After an emergency surgery to stop the bleeding, receiving 6 units of blood, and more than my share of hospital time, I was released to go home to my new daughter.
Several years passed and it was on our hearts to have another baby. We had always said that we wanted 2 children. The reality of how close I came to death that day hit me and Lee really hard. (He had a nurse physically holding him up while I was hemorrhaging.) At a woman’s conference, the Lord began to speak very clearly to me how much I was reacting to fear.
After a miscarriage, we were pregnant again. Another pregnancy of uneventful until around week 27. My blood pressure started to rise again and I was put on bed rest with the appearance of being a repeat offender for peeclampsia. As time progressed, my platelets continued to decrease while my blood pressure increased. I was eventually hospitalized and diagnosed with HELLP syndrome. A pregnancy complication that fosters itself in low red blood cells, low platelets, and elevated liver enzymes. Basically, my body was killing itself due to my pregnancy. An emergency c-section delivered my sweet boy from my body that couldn’t hold him any longer.
The amount that I learned during my pregnancies is incredible.
- These children are one of the sweetest gifts Lee and I have ever been given. (Besides our salvation and our marriage)
- My body hates being pregnant.
- We have decided it isn’t in our best interest for me to carry another child and currently do not feel the Lord leading us toward adoption. And we are learning to be content (Philippians 4:12)
- I can read back through my prayer journal and realize that the Lord called us to parenthood and called me to literally walk through the valley of death.
- I feared a lot. My faith was tested. I was scared out of my mind. I asked nurses and doctors often “Am I dying?” I cried. I begged God for deliverance. I may not have feared evil, (Psalm 23) but I feared. Did I doubt that the Lord knew what he was doing? No. But, I was afraid that He did know what He was doing and that I wasn’t going to agree with Him.
- The things I worry about in everyday life pale in comparison to the things that I normally stress about.
- I was given not a second lease on life, but a third. For some reason, this was my lot. And for a long time, after both deliveries, it was not well with my soul. I was grateful, don’t get me wrong, but I was depressed. My physical body was very sick and took months to regain normal strength and normal blood levels.
- Sometimes, we don’t know why God chooses the path He does for us. And we may never know. And, we have to rest in that. There is a misquoted scripture that is contorted in American culture. Romans 8:28 states “And we know that inall things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” It doesn’t say “MY” good, it states “THE” good. So, really, it may just not be about you.
- My will would have never been to face death. My will would have never been to tell my husband “goodbye” twice. But, it was the Lord’s. And I was only called to have an attitude of Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5).
- Praise isn’t easy when life hurts. But that’s when it is the rawest and the most real. “Lord, I don’t know why, but You are God no matter what I am.” That is what I needed to retrieve me from my deepest pits in life. The Lord is true to Himself and that HE is the vine that gives us the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5). Therefore, He is and He brings love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self control.
And as Nina finished her ballet performance, the song sang “You created me and all that I can see so that I can be holy, holy, You are holy. You are good.”
Nina’s birth story: http://babyboso.blogspot.com/2010/09/day-they-said-lets-have-baby.html
Brooks’ birth story: http://babyboso.blogspot.com/2014/09/preeclampsia-hellp-and-sweet-love-bug.html
Realizing I was holding back for fear: http://babyboso.blogspot.com/2013/09/114.html
Carmen Boso is a pastor’s wife who is a teacher on the side. She is married to Lee and together they have a daughter, Nina, and a son, Brooks. They also have a Lab and a Golden Retriever. They share a love for cooking and traveling and eating copious amounts of junk food. To learn more about Carmen visit: www.babyboso.blogspot.com